Sunday 16 March 2014

Dealing with Heartbreak Part - 1

It's a long time since I've stopped writing...
but sometimes it's the only thing you can do, everything else looks so damn boring.

After so many years on this earth, still, it's hard for me to know people, so many people betrayed me. I should learn from my mistakes but I still do the same mistakes, I love I care I protect but I've my own ways to do such things people may think of me as an immature ignorant arrogant bastard because most of the time I don't give a flying fuck to situations, people, responsibilities but actually, I do, I may not show it all the time, I actually love, I actually care, I actually worry. 


When I was in school there was this girl I was madly in love with, after many years I realized that I was barking up the wrong tree. Then I stopped barking. There's this "best friend" who showed his true colors later just for money, and many more situations were there, and they all were enough to make me a hermit. So I became one. Everything was so damn cool and simple for e.g don't have to worry about replying to texts, totally ignoring missed calls on purpose, don't care about giving time and being there on time. In simple words I became a stone, I remember I did not cry at all from January 2012 to June 2013. I was that strong.

Then something happened, In my fucking awesome life someone came and actually made it awesome. It was all so sudden that I changed within days, I still cannot figure out if the change is good or bad, but yes I hardly smoke or drink now, I can sit in a park and smile at playing little kids. But then comes the sick part of it, I can deal with physical pain but that thing with the nervous system is something that can drive a person insane, Law of attraction goes under the bed when such things happen, maybe I was wrong maybe it is all my fault but all I want is peace, I don't want things too complicated, I hate everything that is complicated e.g c++ coding or numerical analysis. Well, the irony is I cannot write what I actually wanted to write, I am writing all this shit that hardly makes sense.



Have a good day, fellas.

If you want a book I recommend The Modern Breakup  by Daniel Chiliac

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