A day and night full of terror + horror

All contents of this post are based on real events that happened to me on 12th February 2015.

Let's cut the chase to 2:30PM, it's time when I leave home for the office. I've to cross the border and enter Gurgaon so I prefer public transport to avoid traffic. I took a bus to the Kapashera border then as usual a shared cab for the cyber city. The cab covers the whole of udyog vihar then comes cyber city. So as the journey started we saw people rushing in our direction in bulk. I better mention that on a normal day no one gives a shit and no one talks to anyone. In about 2 minutes we saw a huge number of people rushing or you can say running in our direction, we saw blood on some people's faces and clothes. Everyone was wondering what happened is it a riot or something. We tried asking people but they wouldn't talk just told us to turn around they were beating people ahead. A returning driver told our driver to take another route from Ram Chowk but our driver was kinda brave or stupid I'm still confused. He didn't back off. Meanwhile, people were still running. I better mention udyog vihar is an industrial area with a huge number of laborers working there. Finally, we turned around since the road was blocked. We took the Ram Chowk route there were Police in one street blocking the way but then later I first time witnessed Public Outrage, a factory or building I don't know it's next to the NIIT building was in terrible condition. I'll describe it but inside the cab, one supercool dude with his fancy SkullCandy headphones was scared to hell continuously asking the driver to drop him. And everyone was talking to everyone like best friends.

This is what Human nature is, fear brings them together. So at the speed of walking pedestrians, we crossed that trouble-making building, actually, a worker died there so all the other workers were destroying the building, an Omni van and a truck were destroyed already. I saw people beating other people as we crossed. You wouldn't know the feeling anytime a stone could break our window but thanks to god we successfully crossed it. Later we saw some police vans coming. It was a relief that it'll come to an end soon.

On 13th February I'd learn that " The quiet boulevards of Udyog Vihar, the manufacturing hub in Gurgaon, resembled a war zone on Thursday as nearly 1,000 industrial workers went on a vandalism spree from factory to factory, damaging machinery, burning cars and bikes and smashing furniture. Eleven factory buildings had suffered various degrees of damage and at least 100 cars were targeted, some of them upended and set on fire along with bikes in the middle of the road, resulting in losses worth crores. Several policemen and factory workers were among the injured." As quoted by Times Of India.

That was a real happening event but in the office, I went through some horrific episodes. It's more like a myth or something. But the 5th floor where I work is said to be a haunting place. 90% of staff leaves at 6 pm which leaves an empty floor. I didn't even notice it was scary until someone mentioned it. So it's like lights out you're all alone going to the washroom. Everything is pretty huge and window curtains sound, that electric sounds from machinery, doors closing after a while you open them, the reflection in glass walls, empty seats. It all was suddenly in my mind and a few stories were told to me like the sound of anklets, toilet flushing even doors open, and the eye of a girl in a picture(A picture that said don't waste food with a girl looking at you with a plate in her hand). I was still in shock from the afternoon's incident and this scary shit was on my mind. I'm talking 12:20am it's actually scary. I felt it tonight, all other days when I used to roam around these empty corridors fearlessly were gone. I was scared and that scene from Annabel when during the kitchen fire the lady is pulled back was on my mind out of nowhere still at lightning speed I made it back to my department.

Now the office cab dropped me home at 1:05AM, it's a farmhouse with lots of trees and on the left side there's agricultural land the farmhouse. I entered the farmhouse the guards closed the gates behind me. I started walking, and I heard an anklet sound, I stopped that very moment, and looked back I was at a distance of about 100 meters from the gate. The guards asked what happened sir I said nothing. The same thing happened again I wanted to turn around and ask one of the guards to escort me home but due to my ego, I didn't. I walked in that terrifying sound for 200 meters approximately only to discover it was the sound of two coins in my pocket. I was relieved, I had to walk 800 meters to reach home once I enter the farmhouse so I increased my speed and reached the checkpoint, the guards had their bonfires going on. The last thing, I swear to god there was a cat on our door I almost got a heart attack but she ran away.

Here I am safe and sound at home. it's 2 AM, and the conclusion is, your thoughts become reality. The more you think about something the more it bothers you.

Vivek Choudhary

The Lesson

I'm a bit of an arrogant guy at times. I think and judge a lot but I keep my opinion to myself. Today something happened that made me think that we ain't always right or it's not right at all to think that what you're thinking is absolutely correct. At times we run into arguments and we don't even realize that instead of proving who's right we begin to prove who's ego is bigger. We totally neglect that other person's opinion.

Let's take an example of what happened today. There is a smoking zone in my building and it's on the outskirts of the building so it's kinda open to natural air from all sides. It's pretty much cool though and there's room for many people. But since it's cold so many people don't actually enter the smoking zone but they just stand at its entrance and smoke. Just to avoid the cold breeze or sometimes heavily chilled strokes of cold air. The point is I'm one of those people in fact I was till today. There are guards who politely tell people to smoke inside the zone. But thanks to our huge ego of class and band we don't listen to them. Today I went to the zone and started smoking outside the zone. The guard came to me and asked me to smoke in the zone since I was in a hurry so I went inside

A couple of minutes later I saw a few suits "Higher level officials" smoking outside, the guard came again and surprisingly didn't say anything to them and returned. After finishing my cigarette I went straight to that guard and asked "Why this discrimination? You told me to go and didn't say anything to them? "
The guard politely apologized and said "Sir I feel ashamed that I'm illiterate but still I've to tell you literate people to follow the instructions mentioned in that Sign Board. If you are offended I won't say a word to you smoke anywhere you want"

I was like this guy showed me that irrespective of my position in my band I'm so wrong so bloody wrong in following something which is meant to be followed by every literate and socially responsible person. I was wrong on so many levels that I couldn't face this man. I came to argue why he allowed others and refused to allow me, but the basic point in my whole argument would have been based on my irresponsibility. I stood there for like 5 seconds totally speechless. Somehow I managed to say "I'm sorry" and walked away. So before judging others judge yourself. If you believe you're right maybe you're on some levels but not all and that other guy might be correct on one of the remaining levels.

Vivek Choudhary

What is a luxurious life ?

I'll never forget this day in my life, it was 12th December 2014. The month in which we worry about where to go on New year's eve, how to celebrate etc. But what happened to me was an experience, an encounter with reality that changed my mind forever.

So I went to this Government bank for some work regarding my account, we all know how government banks employee are, I'm not saying all of them are the same but the majority goes with rude, frustrated, damn slow employees. They made me stand for a while, I waited patiently because anger or attitude in such places only makes it worse. These two ladies were too slow and giggling around working and gossiping in between. Recently Jan Dhan Yojna was launched so I saw many poor people come in and bank employees treated them like slaves, "bola na baad me aana" "Abhi tak yahin khadi hai, nikal yha se" "is form me yhan ye kaun likhega" and the guard was like "aye kahan Ja rha h" and many more lines were said to them as if they all are terrorist or some species that don't deserve to have a bank account.

One lady politely told me to wait for 10 minutes. I sat on the chair, and at least 6-7 illiterate and very poor people came to me one by one asking me to fill in the slip which is used to deposit money. They had cash like 10rs and 50rs notes mostly. Amounts were 500, 600, 1500, and 2000 at most. I filled out their slips and they thanked me. I felt so good. This was the first time I could feel the emotions behind their simple thanks ( they didn't say thanks literally but they folded hands, smiled, and babuji, sir was used to addressing me) I was happy for them.

After an hour (they told me 10 minutes), I was still waiting. Then a guy appeared, he was nearly 38 or something, he was wearing a jacket that was torn from several places his trouser was very loose his belt was tightened so that the trouser doesn't slip away, his hair was messy, he was sweating, probably he walked or ran from quite a distance. He came to me and asked me to fill out the slip, the time was 3:45pm. He showed me an ID card, and to fill in the name that's on the card, he was working as a field laborer at a factory. I filled in the slip the money was 6500, I counted and sent him to the counter.
The madam at the counter was a girl 24-25 I guess. She straight away told him to go back as the time for transactions is over, and she can't submit money now. The guy with swollen eyes begged her to submit the money, he told her that his daughter in Bihar is very sick and needed medical attention, government hospital ain't helping. She still said no but the guy kept insisting and finally burst into tears, seeing this the girl said "Karlo emotional tum" and finally took the money.

The guy returned to me after the transaction, he sat near me, not on the chair but on the floor, I requested him to sit on the chair beside me but he refused and sat on the ground in a squatting position. He said folding his hands "babuji dhanybad, meri bachi bimar h, Ghar paise bhejne the, tankha 8000 boli thi sahib ne par keh rhe the pf k paise or in kapdo ko paise kaat k 6500 milenge is mahine, Subah se mang rha tha ab Jake 5900 diye, 600 rupe mene bacha k rakhe the wo mila k paise Ghar bhejen hain, dua krna Bachi k liye, bhgwan apko khush rkhe"

English Translation, "Sir thank you so much, my daughter is very sick, and my salary was decided 8000, but they said I will get 6500 after deducting pf and these clothes compensation, after asking too many times since morning he handed me 5900, rest 600 was my savings that I'm sending along, please pray for my daughter, god bless you"

And then he walked away, and many hours later, I was thinking about his problems and his family. This was the first time I learned how much a 10rs note matters to them, I smoke 8-10 cigarettes in a day and 1 cigarette costs me 10rs. My salary is 4 times his and I'm just 23. My dad and my sister are working and they earn way more than me. I've luxuries like vehicles, guards at home, my own house, and a job in an MNC.
I realized how blessed I am and how hard these people work. I have no right to be sad just because I couldn't get a ticket to a movie, or I missed my favorite TV show, or my phone battery dying too soon.

I learned life didn't give you everything you wanted. But it already gave you what you need.
So, I request you all to help people in need and appreciate what you already have.

Becoming a man... Part 4

Please read the previous blog to get more of this one.



Now as you gain senses you realize you've lost many things, money, love, and respect. You see people laughing at you, people who got no standard or life of their own are laughing at you. There was a time when they used to get jealous of your name, respect and your personality was a threat to them, but you cannot do anything, you have to go with the flow, you have to believe in yourself again, bring that confidence and self-esteem that will blow their minds off. Become the man you always wanted to be or the one you were before some xx chromosome destroyed you. Always remember only the first step is hard, Believe in yourself, and this world will bow down to you. No matter how bad you messed things up, the story begins when you start responding to it, now keep calm and love yourself. Life's all about love and peace. Forgive and forget bad people they are not worth your time. You see time is money just like presented in the movie "In Time" that may be the reality later because you can earn money again but not on earth you can get time back. You have to use it sensibly because it's your time, god gave to you, it's only for you, and no one else can waste your time unless you let them do so. Now what happened with me was I changed myself but I did not need to change at all, I became polite and generous and this worked against me, you see if you've goals and dreams so big then you don't have enough time to be generous, you have to become self-centered. That's how it works, now just think about Rocky Balboa's speech to his son, if you have not seen the Rocky series then just go and die.

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not point fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

This is the speech that helps me keep moving. I will move I will rise and you won't see me because you will be deep down in earth out of shame and disgust. I promise that I am a beast I want success and I will achieve it at any cost, no son of a bitch can stop me never ever.

I am Vivek Choudhary.


Rise and rise again until lambs become Lion. (Robin Hood 2010)

If you want a book I recommend The Modern Breakup  by Daniel Chiliac

t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash.LNApIAwd.dpuf

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash.LNApIAwd.dpuf

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash.LNApIAwd.dpuf

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash.LNApIAwd.dpuf

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!
Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.
Don’t forget to visit your mother.”
- See more at: http://www.goodsirs.net/warrior/rockys-inspirational-speech-to-his-son/#sthash.LNApIAwd.dpuf

Becoming a man... Part 3

This world has so many definitions and parameters to judge you as a man, They just see what you're doing your actions, and your mistakes they will judge on all these things, But the fact is only you know what you are and that totally is a reason what you become in future.

About me, I was born in New Delhi and I grew up way too fast I was a rebellious kid, fighting over every small thing even though I was 11-12.  Then with Dad's transfer, we moved to Jaipur. New City new place, everything was new, I was not in my kingdom anymore. I met new people and made new friends but nothing was like before. I adjusted a lot, there are some people whom I can call my best friends, Gaurav, Sourabh, Priyanka, Meha... You people mean a lot in my life, They are the reason I can live alone in Jaipur at the moment when my family is not around.

A man is someone who loves cares and protects, I do all these things, I am sensible enough to take care of people when required but when a short temper hits even grown-ups make mistakes the point is how you react to your mistakes, how you learn from your mistakes, what you do in order to make sure that you won't repeat the same mistake again. I can say it proudly that I have not repeated any mistake in my life. I am a man with my rules my decisions my conscience, I never actually broke any of my rules I may have bend one a little but I did regret it later.

All I want to say is if someone is doing something, right or wrong or stupid, there's always a reason.
Now if you know the reason then you'll actually know, otherwise you'll make false assumptions about the person. I don't speak much that's why 90%  of people don't know me at all. I mostly don't prove or explain anything to anyone not even to my family. I am different, I am nice I know it, I don't need anyone's judgment.

I am Vivek Choudhary, I will not fall, I will stand tall.
So do every man in this world who is judged on false assumptions.

Respect yourself, this world will bow down to you.
Love you to everyone who is with me after knowing me.

If you want a book I recommend The Modern Breakup  by Daniel Chiliac

When you die inside... Part 2 of Dealing with breakup

First of all, you start ignoring the whole world, people talk to you but you just sit or stand there like you're dead and when they shake you a little you realize you're with people and they are talking to you.

Then you make a stupid excuse and leave that place, people-friends try to find out what happened but you've no answer. They look at your face and can tell you're about to cry but you just can't help it. Each minute seems like an hour. You look at your phone every 5 seconds.

And you have no hunger or thirst, you don't need water or food now. Because if somehow you try to eat it just won't go through your throat you'll chew and chew but you cannot swallow.

You walk like a dead person, and people try their level best to cheer you up, but no one can do anything.
You've to survive on your own, Even Rocky Balboa's speech won't help.
Entire youtube sucks you have nothing to write on the search bar. There's just a Facebook screen open and you check it over and over again, you watch that person's profile every 5 minutes.
You cannot sleep, try what you can but you won't sleep. You hate everything around you, you shout at people, So so many negative thoughts.

Then comes the flashback, you think too hard that it literally hurts in your brain, and the feeling somewhere around your heart is not just a feeling anymore it's a pain now, and the worst part is you've to live with it.

You don't know what to do, you think like million things to correct what you've done wrong but you're no longer that smart guy anymore you're a dumbass that's why it happened to you.



It's like being in hell.

If you want a book I recommend The Modern Breakup  by Daniel Chiliac

Dealing with Heartbreak Part - 1

It's a long time since I've stopped writing...
but sometimes it's the only thing you can do, everything else looks so damn boring.

After so many years on this earth, still, it's hard for me to know people, so many people betrayed me. I should learn from my mistakes but I still do the same mistakes, I love I care I protect but I've my own ways to do such things people may think of me as an immature ignorant arrogant bastard because most of the time I don't give a flying fuck to situations, people, responsibilities but actually, I do, I may not show it all the time, I actually love, I actually care, I actually worry. 


When I was in school there was this girl I was madly in love with, after many years I realized that I was barking up the wrong tree. Then I stopped barking. There's this "best friend" who showed his true colors later just for money, and many more situations were there, and they all were enough to make me a hermit. So I became one. Everything was so damn cool and simple for e.g don't have to worry about replying to texts, totally ignoring missed calls on purpose, don't care about giving time and being there on time. In simple words I became a stone, I remember I did not cry at all from January 2012 to June 2013. I was that strong.

Then something happened, In my fucking awesome life someone came and actually made it awesome. It was all so sudden that I changed within days, I still cannot figure out if the change is good or bad, but yes I hardly smoke or drink now, I can sit in a park and smile at playing little kids. But then comes the sick part of it, I can deal with physical pain but that thing with the nervous system is something that can drive a person insane, Law of attraction goes under the bed when such things happen, maybe I was wrong maybe it is all my fault but all I want is peace, I don't want things too complicated, I hate everything that is complicated e.g c++ coding or numerical analysis. Well, the irony is I cannot write what I actually wanted to write, I am writing all this shit that hardly makes sense.



Have a good day, fellas.

If you want a book I recommend The Modern Breakup  by Daniel Chiliac